Cappy Sparrow
by Nimphaiwe
Summary: On his way to deliver a message, Jack Sparrow encounters three bothersome pipsqueaks.  Verbal battle and much merry skipping ensues.  Post AWE


**A/N:** I saw AWE in another language, but it was dubbed badly enough that I caught some of it. So I understood the beginning and most of the end, but I didn't quite get everything...thus some of the details might be messed up; please pardon me for those... better yet, review and tell me what I got wrong. )

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Fresh morning air and the scent of salt. Aahhhhh… Captain Jack Sparrow breathed in deeply. How sweet that smell was. He could inhale it forever.

'Mr. Smith?' A wavery voice spoke behind him. Jack turned scowling.

'You again? They still keep you, after nine years?'

The dock tax-keeper cleared his throat. 'Mr. Smith, that was your name, I recall. It's a shilling to dock a ship, you know.'

Jack stared blankly. He looked from his small skiff and back at the tax-keeper. 'You call this a ship, do you? Well I'll 'ave you know me bloody ship's been taken. This one isn't mine, seeing as I borrowed it off 'im who's stolen me own. An' seeing as I paid you three shillings last time, also taking into account that I 'ave urgent business in town, I'll bid you good day.' He walked past, leaving the confused old man trying to remember when the three shillings had been paid. He stomped down the dock. _Urgent business indeed. Just a letter,_ Jack thought. _Who does that boy think I am, his courier lad or somethin'? _Dutchman_'s captain, eh? And 'e's still writing soppy letters to 'is love, says they're urgent? 'Please Jack, if you could deliver this as soon as possible.' Well, I'll deliver it. But I'm not his messenger boy. I'm a Captain too. Or at least I was…_

Jack looked around the street. He hadn't visited Port Royal since before the _Pearl_'s curse was broken. _Where does she live now, anyways?_ He wandered about, wondering if this was even the right town. Perhaps she'd gone to England. But why would she do that? Or perhaps she'd moved to Tortuga. It was fun there; the rum, the fights, the girls—but of course not, she hated Tortuga.

People stared at him, as pirates weren't a common sight these days. Children were running and chasing a ball in the corner. They romped around and around, until they spotted him. As he made his way through the street a rather large crowd of young 'uns began to follow. At first he took no notice. However after a while of roaming around, he kept hearing excited whispers and giggles. He turned.

'See, I told you, it's him.' One of the kids in the front said. 'It's Jack Sparrow.'

Somewhat surprised, Jack tried walking another block. The children continued to tag along. Jack had no idea where he was going. He turned around again. 'Look, all you pipsqueaks, just what do you want?' He was greeted by giggles. They all stared up at him eagerly. Three of them were similar to each other, all with dark hair and brown eyes—they must have been triplets—and they were somewhat…odd. Familiar. Jack shrugged. _Now that's silly, why would they look familiar?_

The children continued to gawk at him. He frowned, and cleared his throat. 'Alright, you, I don't 'ave any candies or magical billy-goats hidden away. So shoo. Get on with you. I'm a dangerous man.' He stared back at them for a full minute. Most of them seemed to lose interest, as if they had hoped to see some miraculous feat from this pirate, but now obviously weren't going to get it.

Sighing with relief, he walked on. The market square was coming up, he could hear it already. Jack turned a corner. He now made his way up a narrow, muddy alley. He'd not gone past but four houses when he heard loud clattering footsteps behind him.

He started and looked behind him. It was the triplets, two boys and a girl in a dirty dress. 'I told you to stop following me, so go away now!' he snapped.

One of the boys spoke. 'You're Jack Sparrow? Aren't you?'

Jack frowned. 'Captain, to be exact. An' now how on earth would you know me name?'

The girl giggled. 'Mother described you in such detail, we were sure it couldn't be anyone else!' She grinned. 'I'm Elinor Jacqueline Marina Turner. I'm nine. And that's William, and he's Weatherby. They're nine too.' She pointed to her brothers. 'But Will is the oldest by fifteen minutes. I was last.'

Jack winced. 'Weatherby?' Weatherby nodded. 'But you can call me Weath, or Weather. So where've you been? What's pirating like? Did you see any krakens? Or break any curses? Or…'

'Just half a bloomin' minute! Who is your mother? You said "Turner" did you?'

Elinor nodded vigourously, her brown eyes shining. 'Yes I did. It's our last name, you know. My mother's name is Mrs. Elizabeth Turner.'

Will broke in. 'Did you see father?'

Jack sighed. 'To answer all your bloody questions, I've been everywhere, pirating's as lovely as usual, no, no, an' yes. Now please, I've got to be going…'

'But Uncle Jack,' Elinor piped, 'you don't have your compass, do you?'

Jack glared. 'Yes. But don't call me "uncle". Besides what does me compass 'ave to do with anything?'

Weatherby spoke. 'We were wondering if we could look at it. I mean, it's not like we see a pirate everyday!'

'Well your mother's a pirate.'

'Yes, but we _do_ see her everyday. So, it gets rather tiring seeing the _same _one over and over. Besides, she doesn't have a compass. Or wear a sword very often. Or go off on adventures any more. Father's a pirate too, but we barely see him at all. And he doesn't have a magic compass either.'

'You know mother couldn't take us on adventures if she did go, Weath. She doesn't let us do anything exciting nowadays. But she did say something about a treasure chest, which we could never find…I don't remember what it had in it.'

'Father has no heart!' Elinor cried excitedly. 'Do you have one? Mother said he died, actually, but now he's better.'

Jack turned away from the Turner pipsqueaks. _What is wrong with these children? _Elinor tugged his sleeve. 'Why are you here, Cap Sparrow?'

'I 'ave "urgent business" with Mrs. Turner. So if you please, stop rambling on an' on about events you know nothing of an' show me where she is!'

Elinor nodded proudly and pushed her bouncy dark curls out of her eyes. 'That's easy. I know where she lives, and I can show you, 'cause I live there too.' She skipped past him. The boys followed.

'Would you like to join the skipping race, Cap Sparrow?' Weath called. Captain Sparrow gave him a somewhat incredulous look. Will laughed. 'Alright, we won't show you the way if you don't skip with us!'

Jack walked quickly as he kept up with their eager hop. 'Now why would you 'ave such as silly idea like that? Don't you know what a fool I'd look? Pirates don't skip, lad. It ain't dignified.'

Weath almost tripped on a loose cobble. 'Mother sometimes skips with us. She said she always skipped when she was our age. And father did too. Pirates do too skip.'

Will grinned. 'Come on, captain. It's easy. See, you hop twice on one foot, then the other…'

Jack rolled his eyes. 'I bloody well know _how_ to skip. But I bloody well ain't going to.'

'Then we bloody well shan't show you where mother lives!' Weath crossed his arms, still skipping along.

'See, Cappy, you have too. Are you skipping or not?' Elinor looked up at him.

Jack winced again. 'Cappy. Uncle. What next? Look, you pips, er… how would it be if I told you I'd cut your ears off with me sword, eh? What do you say to showing me now?'

Will shook his head. 'You wouldn't do it. You know mother and father, and they'd be angry. I'm not afraid.'

'What if I let you all look at me compass? Hold it even?'

Weath and Elinor giggled. 'No, we want to skip! We can see the compass later.'

'Then I won't show it to you.'

'That's all right, mother will convince you to.'

Captain Sparrow sighed. 'But why _skipping_,of all things?' he muttered. They were still in the alley. No one except the children would see him. He sighed again, and began skipping. The beads in his hair and beard bounced in his face with the motion. He felt horribly sheepish.

Weath smiled. 'Isn't it fun? Didn't we tell you?' Jack gave a wide, false grin, and rolled his eyes again. Then he tripped. His hat tumbled off.

Elinor burst out in fluffy giggles. 'O dear, didn't you notice that hole in the road, Cappy Sparrow?' All three children stopped to wait for him. Jack could hear their teasing sniggers.

He growled. 'You stinkin' little pipsqueaks! I know what I'll do! I'll tell your mother about all this stupid mischief! Cheeky little blighters!' He stumbled to his feet, gingerly dusting his hat off and placing it with care on his head.

'Come along, Captain! We still have a ways to go!' Will started up the skip again. Jack grumbled under his breath. 'Troublin' a captain like that, twon't do. Really, I'd much rather find their fangle-blasted home meself.' He followed them out of the alley.

'You aren't skipping!' Elinor scolded. 'We can't show you unless you agree…'

'Hang it all, I told you I'm bloody well not going to. I've tried it, isn't that good enough? If you pipsqueaks insist on these blasted idiotic terms, I won't agree! On me word as a cap'n…'

The girl looked up at him. 'But Cappy…'

Jack sighed. Perhaps it was time he gave an annoying comeback of his own. 'Look, you, Wilhelm or whatever your name is, you're the oldest, right?'

Will frowned. 'It's William, not Wilhelm! Yes, I'm oldest, and Weath is next, and poor Ellie's last…'

'Yes, yes, I know. But see, as oldest, Wilhelm here should be actin' sensible. I mean skipping…'

'William.'

'Ah, of course. You see, Wilhelm…'

'It's _William_!!!' Will glared.

Jack stopped, grinning. The lad obviously didn't like his name tampered with. He had found a place for a bargain. 'Well. _William._ I thought it was Wilhelm. And if you an' your siblings don't take me to your mother, I might as well just keep thinkin' it's Wilhelm, eh?' He winked at Will. 'How about it then?'

Will hesitated for a moment. 'O, fine then! But why do you want to call me something I'm not?'

'Try a little of your own medicine for a change.' Jack smiled.

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The children led on, going out of Port Royal. They went along a narrow dirt road, following up a small hill. When they stopped, Jack saw the house was far away enough so none would bother, but close enough that food, clothing or any other supplies wouldn't be too far off.

'Cap Sparrow, we're here!' Ellie rushed ahead.

'Ah, thank you for leading us, _William_. Now that you've done what I wanted, I'll be calling you by your right name.'

Will glared at the pirate captain. Weath ran up with Ellie and knocked on the door. A sour old woman opened it. The pipsqueaks ran in. Jack heard Will complaining in the next room, 'Mother, that pirate kept calling me Wilhelm!'

The old woman coughed. 'And just who or what do you want? Are you a friend of the children's?'

'Er…I've got urgent business with Mrs. Turner, so if you don't mind…'

'Mrs. Turner, eh…' The woman was cut off as another came to the door.

'Oh, hello Jack!' Elizabeth cried. She looked more worn and obviously older since the last Jack had seen her. He was sure the worn bit was the pipsqueaks' fault. 'It's so good to see you! Come in, will you?'

Jack entered. He glanced anxiously both ways. 'Can we possibly talk away from…_them_?'

Elizabeth laughed. 'Of course. This way.'

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'Thank you so much for delivering this, Jack.' Elizabeth placed the precious letter on the table.

Jack grunted. 'You're welcome.'

'Anything extraordinary occur while you were with him?'

'Nah—normal going's on.' The captain, although it had been a full twenty minutes since the skipping, was still exasperated. 'Lizzie, darling, how do you stand it?'

Elizabeth looked out the window and sighed. 'It is quite lonely, but letters help…'

'No, not that! I mean those confounded pipsqueaks! An' not just one; why on earth did you have to 'ave _THREE??_ If I 'adn't found that bloody youth fountain, I'd be grey already! Can you believe it, them and their silly games! They asked me to join skipping. Skipping?! Just how humiliating is that? Really, how do you manage?'

'Bothered you, did they?' Elizabeth chuckled. 'Well, let's say I _was_ a bit surprised. I thought I'd only have one, and I got three. And yes, they are boisterous at times.' She sighed again. 'Just another four months…'

'Missing William badly, are we?'

'Of course. How could I not? I've gone out to see him on the Dutchman a few times, if he's been nearby. At least he's seen his own children. I do wish I could just stay on the ship with him. Because—one day only on land is too short. The children need more time to know him. When he comes, there will still be so much explaining to do…and so much time will be wasted. I know I'm terribly selfish to think so…' She trailed off.

Jack turned to her. 'Well, there isn't much I can do…'

Elizabeth shook her head. 'No, not much. But a little. I do have something I need delivered.'

'O no.' Jack groaned. 'By that time Will will have another to give you, an' then you'll have one for him when I get back to you, an' then he'll have another one, an' then you, then him, then you, then him, then you, an' then I'll finally be stuck as your confounded bloody messenger boy! Well I won't have it…'

Elizabeth smiled at his worries. 'Look, you've not delivered one yet for me. I've had other people do it. I'm sure you won't become the courier.'

Jack still stood frowning. 'But the problem is, you both know me. Friends rely on friends. I'm a pirate captain, for crying out loud! You can't _make_ me do it.'

A knock sounded on the wood of the door. 'Mum, can we come in?'

Jack jumped. _No, not them!_ His thoughts raced. 'Actually, Lizzie, I'll take it. For you, darling. An' on top of that, I've got to be going.' He grinned uneasily.

Elizabeth reached for a sealed paper and handed it to him. 'Thank you, but why must you leave so soon? It's good to see old friends…'

'To save me own skin! An' peace of mind!' He whispered urgently, gesturing towards the door. Weath was knocking again. 'Mum! Are you done? We need to ask you something.'

Elizabeth paused. 'Just one moment, Weath!' She moved to the other side of the room and drew back a curtain. Another door was behind it. 'This way out. Go down the steps, turn left, and the front door's right there.'

Jack bolted, not even hearing Elizabeth's 'Good-bye!'

Safely out the door, he made his way back into town. As he ran down the road his mind was filled with relief. At last free from the constant nagging and questions! And not to mention the skipping…

_I need rum._ Jack slowed to a walk. _Rum. Ah, yes, the medicine for the soul. And the battered mind. Maybe I should go to Tortuga after this…_ He smiled at the thought. Tortuga. Plenty of distractions. And rum. And fights. Not that he would play a large part in any, but…

Jack sighed. One thing he was sure of. _If I ever do find a girl, I'll make her promise not to have kids. Silly annoyances, those. Or at least not to have three…all at once…_

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**A/N:** Why triplets? Well just one kid is kind of boring. Twins, although I'm a big fan off them, are a little cliche in fanfics these days. I was going to do twins, but my brother was reading this and told me triplets would be better. And plus three small kids are more annoying than two! I'm sure Elizabeth did something more interesting than go back to Port Royal after AWE, but this was kind of a quick one and I didn't feel like thinking up something amazing for so short a story. Though when the old lady answers the door I was tempted to have her say, 'I _am_ Mrs. Turner!' and freak Jack out. XD _  
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